Genma No Baka
by SagashiIndustries
Summary: Just a spamfic I wrote after hearing many panda rug threats towards genma. rated T for undescribed character death. Review if you want, but I really don't care.


GENMA NO BAKA- A Ranma ½ spamfic by Sagashi Industries.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma ½, Azumanga Daioh, or whichever Tenchi you want this to be.

A/N: This is just a random piece of stupidity that popped into my head.

"" speech

'' thought

\\Panda sign

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"So, Saotome, why do all these women keep showing up in Nerima, or do I not need to know?" Mousse, who had finally come to an understanding with Ranma, asked. "More frickin' iinazuke, Mousse. Up to 8 this week and 40 this month. If I seeing one more iinazuke show up, I'm going ta give Mom a panda skin rug for da livin' room." "I'm glad we found out you're from the Masaki family and are immune to Amazon Law, after Saffron, I know I couldn't beat you, no matter how hard I tried." "Yeah, well I think I need to convince grandpa to get me switched over to the Masaki clan so I don't have to deal with this crap anymore."

Dinnertime came fast, and the fights for food had been stopped by Nodoka moving in, although she refused to sleep in the same room as Genma, who was more often than not a panda lately to avoid having to explain how much trouble the fat ass had gotten Ranma into. Just when Genma tried stealing from his son's plate, despite Nodoka's presence, there was a knock on the door. "Oh my, who could that be? Most people around here don't knock." Kasumi thought out loud with a slight hint of anger, which scared everyone present. Soun got up to get the door (for once) but tripped, yelling "WAAH! I TRIPPED! NOW THE SCHOOLS WILL NEVER BE JOINED!" (Insert anime sweat-drops on the back of Ranma, Akane, Nabiki, and Nodoka's heads.) "I've been expecting someone for a while now, so I'll get it." Nodoka said. The person at the door was a girl about 16, around Kasumi's height with long brown hair, glasses, and a red school uniform. "And just who are you?" Nodoka asked. "My name is Koyomi Mizuhara, and I'm looking for my arranged iinazuke, Saotome Ranma. Is he here anywhere?" Yomi asked, only to see several people send death glares... to a panda? "Um, right. I'll just say I couldn't find him then." with that she ran far and fast to try and escape the insanity and return to the side of her lover, Kagura (Thought I'd say Tomo, didn't you?) 'They're never going to believe this crap.'

Everyone turn their heads as they heard a feral growl coming from Ranma. "So, Oyaji, will you explain yourself or will I be making a nice panda skin rug, and eating Panda Steaks, Panda soup, perhaps some Panda flambè, or maybe fried panda?"

Good thing Genma was already a panda, because he was too scared to wet himself with a glass of water. (He wet himself just fine the other way) So, he signed \Please don't hurt me. After all, I'm just a cute little panda. Pandas are endangered, so killing them is wrong.\ "Depends on the answer to this question, Oyaji: How many more iinazuke do I have?" \f-f-f- "just five, I hope." \fifty-seven... PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I'M SORRY!\ Genma then proceeded to use the Crouch of the Fallen Tiger technique, repeatedly signing I'M SORRY! over and over. What Genma failed to notice was the Katana, Mallet-sama, several fists (Ranma, Soun, Nabiki o-o, and Kasumi O-O), a firecracker, a bokken (Rule: when people gather in Nerima, a Saotome is always the target), a spiked club, a Shi Shi Hokodan, some bonburi, a cane, some Yama-Sen-Kens (Don't ask where Ryu came from), several bladed weapons, and a B.A.S. (Big Ass Spatula) coming straight for his head.

Epilogue:

After Genma's death (they made him into a panda skin rug and made steaks out of him.) Nodoka went back to her Maiden name Masaki, taking Ranma with her, thus breaking all engagements. Ranma moved in with his mother and went to the local school, Soramimi high for his last year of school, where he met the girl he fell in love with and would eventually become his first wife, Ayumu Kasuga, known to her friends as Osaka, and called "Ayu-chan" by Ranma. The two of them went to the Masaki shrine after graduating and stayed there for a while, when both met and fell in love (yes, I've made Osaka bi, deal with it.) Mihoshi Kuramitsu, who, after the others at the shrine explained the Masaki's heritage, would become Ranma's second wife. Tenchi had ended up marrying Ayeka and Ryoko, and the six of them decided to rule Jurai together, after an accident in Washu's lab fixed the attention problems Ranma, Osaka, and Mihoshi had, also making the three much smarter.

As for the rest of the Nerima crew, things calmed down big time. Ryoga began to date Akane, and things went well for about a month, before Akane finally found out about P-chan. He spent a month in the hospital, where they somehow cured his directional sense. He eventually married Akari and lives happily on her farm. Akane finally realized how bad her temper was after nearly killing Hiroshi for asking her out on a date. After her recovery, she had found love with Mousse of all people. Ukyo basically said "screw you" to her father after he told to go kill Ranma even though he was no longer a Saotome. She ended up with Ryu Kumon. Nabiki had gone off to Tokyo U and never married, but she was in an interesting relationship involving some Instant Nannichuan and a Purple Haired Amazon. Kasumi eventually went off to medical school and married Dr. Tofu, who finally got over his Kasumi-itis with help. Soun eventually married the fixed-up Hinako Ninomiya. Nodoka never bothered remarrying, but was still very content with having her curse-free son back. And so they all lived happily ever after, except the Kunos, who were committed to an insane asylum and eventually died from drug overdose.

THE END.

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This was just a pointless little story going around in my head after hearing so many panda rug threats towards Genma. If enough people ask, I'll turn the epilogue into a full story, from Nodoka taking her maiden name, Ranma going to Soramimi high (if anyone knows the name of the school from Azumanga Daioh, it would be greatly appreciated if you could tell me the real name.), Meeting Osaka and the others, falling in love, going to the shrine, falling in love again, learning of heritage, Nerima, and all the other stuff.


End file.
